Home away again..

Good to be back in this large country though its for a short time. Everything about this country is big, wide roads (some up to 10-12 lanes on each side), the golf carts are bigger than Nano, meals come with a huge serving, the cheese cake you order are not lanky panky as in India they are quite hatta katta and these guys have unbeatable waist lines.

So what did I do other than work ? My friend Sachin stays 2 miles away from my hotel so it has been fun. Me and sachin did what the men do and we (me, Sachin and his wife Mamta) went sight seeing during the weekends. Being in Atlanta, we had to visit the world of coco-cola, the 4-d movie and the tour of the fully functioning bottling line was better than tasting the 100 odd flavors of coke. Some of the flavors were really pathetic, Morarji cola would have been better. Just opposite the Coke factory is the worlds largest Aquarium, the Georgia Aquarium. It is awesome, you got to visit this place whenever you happen to come to Atlanta. They have built such a huge Habitat that the fishes be it shark, whale or whale-sharks or the other colorful fishes, don't miss the sea. If you have kids then do try the Sleepover package in there.

We also did a day trip to Smokies, i mean Smoky Mountains. The name smoky is due to the fact that fog presents itself as large smoke plumes from a distance. It was a wonderful picnic, lip smacking food by Mamta, good music, amazing views and non-stop talking. Even visited a casino on our way back home, it was a horrible casino never to be visited again. At Smokies, the fall was still couple of weeks away, even then some of the stretches were really very picturesque, amazing colors - different shades of green, yellow, orange, red, maroon. It was fun driving through the dwindling roads lined with lovely colorful trees on either side of the roads. The cool breeze helped the dead brain rejuvenate and ready to be abused during the work days. The lovely view reminded me of the beautiful stretch between Mumbra and Thane creek, you come across this stretch when you commute using the Mumbai Local trains. During the monsoon, the entire stretch used to turn into a bright shade of green and the beauty of the mumbra mountains used to increase multifold after the shower (rain i mean). Hope the construction companies have not destroyed this yet, will look out for this when I go to mumbai. Any mention of Mumbai Local train travel cannot be complete without the note on the unique sight that no other country can probably boast of, semi naked men crapping together and most probably discussing politics, girls and cricket, they discuss as if they are in a pub. Definitely not a pretty sight and you almost stop breathing when the train crosses such a stretch but not their fault, wish the public crappers could afford a private crapping station.

Anyway back to USA, though I love to cook, since the hotel has no kitchen I have to venture out to eat. American, Mexican, Thai, Chinese, Malaysian, Greek, Indian, Lebanese, Italian, different wraps/subs, tried them all but this tamilian is missing the Curd rice and Potato Poriyal ! Will probably ask Mamta to make it ..2 Large J&B, if we can get hold of old monk then even better and then curd rice with Potato, wowww weekend menu decided...Mamta are you reading? I am barging in this weekend whether you invite me or not ;-)

Probably a week more to go before I head back to Bangalore, to be with family ! Mobile, mails, video chat..thanks to the technology we are connected but nothing can beat seeing a person in flesh and blood. By the way I am deprived of one of the technologies that kept me connected 24*7, some ***hole stole my cell phone. Haan Haan, yahan Amrika main bhi chor hain ..I feel completely disconnected, landline and Internet is not enough..i need a cell phone !!

Terror Free

Our home minister has a coined a new term "Saffron Terror", referring to a political party who are retaliating to the bomb blasts by funding or rather orchestrating more bomb blasts. We all understand that the leaders of these terror groups (Saffron or Jihad) must be great public speakers giving convincing and violent interpretation of Quran and now Gita to the youth. But one question that most of us should ask is - Do we as individuals endorse such violent behavior? Probably yes, how else do you explain the super success of the movie like Rang De Basanti with a tag line, "A generation awakens". Is this how we want the gen-next to wake up ? With a gun in hand and determination to end whoever they thought was bad for the nation, society, etc? Agreed, towards the end of the movie the gen-next boys do say they DONOT endorse violence but violence was the only option for this situation and that is the reaction the terror group leaders cash on : "MURDER is the only option in this situation"

One needs patience, probably a lot of it but public interest litigation, a media campaign, online campaigns, pressuring political parties are various ways to get justice. We should abstain from the extreme and most foul method of handling a problem "murder". Media needs to bring out more positive stories of justice to calm down the frustration and anger. The current government might not be the best but as they say nobody likes their government but nobody really wants to be ungoverned. The thing that prevents freedom from going into chaos is governance. So in its current form, the congress is surely better in comparison to the saffron brigade. We should be happy not to be governed by the terror funding parties, we all know what happens to such countries even after 60+ years of freedom.

Talking about freedom, it reminds me of the exciting weekend ahead. My wife will be away from Bangalore, Amma is going off to attend some marriage and to catch up with her siblings, so the boys are alone (me and my son). It is always fun to be with naughty kids, and my son is like one of those kids you would take to the zoo but never bring back because zoo authorities decide to cage him. Today his friends (few monkeys) had barged into our complex, and my son was so bloody happy to see them, as if they are his long last brothers like in Manmohan Desai movies.

This is our first ever "freedom" weekend, 2 full days. We have taken a OATH that we will under no circumstances visit Shoppers Stop, Brigade road, and commercial street. Even if we get into a mall we will not get into any SHOP that is shouting "SALE" and we will not watch any Yash Raj or Karan Johar movies. We plan to cycle, jump into the pool, have our breakfast in MacDonalds (to hell with calories), watch Avatar which re-releases this weekend. Avatar is a visual delight, it is like eating ice-cream with your eyes, so we have decided to watch it again but this time in 3-d. After the movie will let him play with his friends while I ogle at anything that my eyes find attractive and also a visit to some theme park might be in our agenda or we might just decide to mess up our home....lot of things to do before the Terror Strikes again on Monday night , my wife will be back :-(

Fast Food

My wife is fasting yet again ! Today is Varalakshmi Puja, the Karwa Chauth of south but with a twist. While Karwa chauth fast is for the husband's long life, Varalakshmi fast is to seek health, wealth and prosperity for the family. This means when the wife does this fast thing, depending on what day it falls almighty decides what is to be given. Apparently, GOD maintains a database which has the details of all humans (only Hindu Indians I guess) and the relation between them. This database supposedly has the expiry date for each and every person which I believe is set by Brahma, who is the official manufacturer of humans as per Hindu mythology.

During karwa chauth the expiry date of the husband is pushed further. The increment might be in hours or days or months or years depending on how devoted the wife is. There is one story on how a lady broke the fast and her husband died, she then preserved his body for a year and he came to life when his wife fasted (with full devotion) the following year. What a ridiculous folk story ! This is like fasting at a gun point and the fasting rules are even more rigid, the wife does not even drink water on this day (till sunset in south and until the moon is visible in North). You question about this and you will have a standard answer - TRADITION and some folk story to go with it.

It is definitely a myth but my wife (like millions of others) is still inspired to follow them and I am sure the wife's undaunted love for her husband and family is the only reason behind this. Love in any form is beautiful, I take this as those small moments of happiness which makes a marriage very special. Its nice to see your wife in a gorgeous saree and jewelry, frequent SMS or calls during the day on how she is desperately waiting for the sun to set and then a disclosure by the husband when the wife breaks her fast - "I have also fasted for your darling" and those Kisses and hugs..choo cute. Behind the cuteness the fact is, the husband decided to fast because the scotch, kebabs and greasy curries from the last evening's party were creating havoc in the intestine, so fasting was more of a medical decision.

Moral - Fast to detox, it will surely delay your encounter with Yama (the Hindu God of death) but don't forget to enjoy these festivals as they bring in some lovely moments in married life.

Munni Badnaam Huee

Mother India, whose feet is being washed by the ocean waves and whose crown is the snowy Himalayas was once a woman, delightful in beauty and radiant as twenty million dazzling suns, but today she is suffering and is wrapped in darkness. Our beautiful mother has been reduced to a emotionally drained out lady, weeping on her wounds (Jammu Kashmir tragedies, Maoist menace, target of terrorist attacks, etc).

We have been fortunuate to be blessed by competent leaders like Subhash Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, Nehru, etc during the struggle for freedom but who are the new age leaders ? People like Mr. Kalamadi ? Thanks to the CWG mess, Bharat Mata who was once seen in expensive clothing, stylishly tailored, gorgeously worn, adorned with the best jewelry, always maintaining her dignity and values even in the face of hardships and devastating tragedies, is now seen outrageously dressed as Munni who is singing, "Munni Badnaam Huee, because of you Mr. Kalamadi" ! CWG organizers have sacrificed their honor to their weakness for wealth. This independence day, hope better sense prevails and we put up a great show during the Common Wealth Games.

Happy Independence Day (15th Aug) in advance..

Five times Paanch

I had taken a half day leave today but thanks to the Bangalore traffic, I spent the other half traveling to office. Not an exaggeration, honestly just try visiting my home on your next vacation, I can bet that before you reach my home on bg.road your vacation would be over !

Frustrated in traffic, I tuned into 94.3 Radio one and RJ Prithvi announces - Dekho, Dekho woh aagayee ...no no not Monica, ooooo my darling but Aisha, nah nah not my darling. Aisha, the Sonam Kapoor starrer produced by Papa (Oscar?) Kapoor has released today and I hope I don't have to watch this movie under any family pressure. May be I am jealous of Sonam for not being to able to shed off my extra fat like her (Sonam was 90kgs 4 years back) but to me the Aisha Star looks like a punctured fatso !

Shayad "Bhagwan Hota hai", one wrong thought about Aisha and an Auto just forced its way onto my lane. Small "mistake" so i was a given only a small "sazaa". Well Bangalore car drivers who are stuck in traffic need the patience plus precision of a hunter; an alert mind that is in full control of the clutch, gear, brakes and horn; concentrating very hard to not miss that one chance to move 2 inches forward. I am yet to be a master but after many 2 inch long marches, I reached my office and now I have to drive back in some time ..talk about productivity !

Waise, dekhte hi dekhthe or rather likhthe hi likhthe, I have reached the Silver Jubilee. this is my 25th Post !

Head(ache?)lines Today

200 Condom Vending Machines to be set up at Common Wealth Games Village. Now, I am really curious to know the games, that will be played as part of this event !

A team at Northwestern university has developed a new device which they claim can read terrorist's mind and predict attacks. Please please please get it out for the common man, all the married MEN need such a device ! Do I need to mention why ?

Tomorrow (04-Aug-2010) is BUS Day in Bangalore, Go Green is the mantra these days and please do your bit. Anyway, hope my employer also follows "go green" mantra, I desperately need some green and not silver for my wallet :-)

Who says Mosquitoes cause Malaria ? at least in Mumbai it is not the mosquitoes but the Migrants (North Indians in specific) spread Malaria, that is what MNS Chief says. If someone does get close to the MNS chief, please do knock his skull and ask anybody inside? Don't be surprised with a possible reply ..Mental Inside ( and not Intel inside)

Rajnikant Starrer, the Robot (in Hindi) and Enthiran (in Tamil) is slated for release this September ! Am I waiting ? definitely ! what else does a tamilian need - Idli-Dosa, Sambar and Rajni Movies. By the way, I heard that all the Cinema theatres in Chennai will accept Cash, Credit Cards, Debit Cards, Lungs, Kidney, Eyes, or even blood can be donated in exchange for the movie ticket! Believe me, the crazy fans can do anything to watch a Rajni Sir movie

Bobby Blouse

Ok the title was just to catch your attention. I just came back after watching "Once Upon a time in Mumbai" and the movie is total paisa vasool. Ajay Devgan as Sultan Mirza has delivered yet another power packed performance and as Sultan, Ajay Devgan gets to deliver most of the punch dialogues, which is undoubtedly the best part of the movie. Take this for a sample - "Main woh kaam karta hoon jiski ijaazat sarkar nahi deti. Main woh kaam nahi karta jiski ijaazat mera zameer nahi deta". Emraan Hashmi as a boyish criminal desperate to become a DON is surprisingly good and he also gets to mouth some interesting dialogues

My knowledge on music, screenplay or story telling is not great but I like anything that I do not lose interest in and this is one such movie. If I have got the cinematic lingo right then I can say the screenplay keeps the audience engaged throughout the movie and the background score infuses life into the characters. The music is not bad either, the two or three songs in the movie are actually good.

In spite of this being a gangster movie, the romantic scenes are beautifully written. The scene in which our Smart Sultan uses a Guava to woo his love interest Rehana (Kangana Ranaut) will definitely impress you. I would say the romance part is much better and original than the other recent romantic love stories dished out by the Johars or the Chopras or their wannabes.

Though the movie is not better than the other gangster movies like Company or Satya but it is a must watch and by the way there is also Prachi desai in Bobby Blouse, so my choice of title for this post is not completely off track.

Disclaimer : I am usually partial to Gangster Movies, so this is a biased review

cotton for headache ?

Today I went to a drug store to get some tablets for my headache. The attendant at the drug store gave the tablets to me and said, what happened sir? having a headache? I simply nodded, to which he said, why don't you buy some cotton as well. Cotton for a headache ? Have you gone nuts was my response. He smiled and responded back, sir you seem to be MARRIED and I suggest that you use this cotton to plug your ears at the right time and you will never need these tablets again ! Quite Innovative I must say :-)

Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and many other complex to imbibe qualities but the interesting thing is you would never need those qualities if you stay single. Also Unlike "Work Experience" a person's "Marriage Experience" ensures one loses out on interesting opportunities ;-)

So what am i trying to say ? anybody's guess !

Mystery Uncle

Every morning as I read the news paper or watch the news on television, I realize the whole world around is busy trying to be rich & famous, and here i am, putting in some crazy work hours on certain days and yet no where to be mentioned.

Baba Ramdev (wish it was Babu Ramdev) and Sri Sri Money Shankar (sorry Sri Sri Ravi Shankar) move around in luxury cars, get VVIP treatment, have millions of dollars coming to them as donation and all of this just to teach people how to Breathe-In and Breathe-out? 99% of Jr.Bachchan's movie flop but yet he gets signed for 5+ crores for his next venture to torture us. Kishore Biyani introduced chaos into shopping (i mean Big bazaar) and is making billions, there are lot of such people who are making it big !

Not that I am jealous of these successful people or they give me sleepless nights but there should be something I am missing in my routine life and I am 100% sure of this. Last Monday was an all-India strike, purpose of which I am told was to question the government on their "Inflation control measures", definitely not a true reason, the true agenda was only POLITICS but nothing we can do about it (want to stand up against the strike ? then try it !). Well only thing that struck my attention out of the various articles on strike was, the day's loss was estimated to be approximately INR 130 Billion or INR 13000 Crores ! Which simply means, that is the amount of money that exchange hands on a given day. Now the question is - what are my hands doing, why are they not involved in this exchange ? They surely need to be made better use of than writing meaningless blogs or useless software

Not that I need money but I would not mind replacing my small car with a chauffeur driven Bentley. Would be my pleasure to move into a penthouse overlooking the sea but the question is how ? How about this for an answer - some unknown, distant, unwell and wealthy uncle shows up from no where, makes me the legal heir to his property and then takes shelter in God's abode ? Might sound mean but deep in our heart we all are waiting for that "mystery uncle" :-)

well life might seem worthless many a times, inflation might just nullify your hard earned bonus, you might just be a bomb blast away if your are not lucky enough, flight might crash into some tower, maoists might derail the train you are travelling in, global warming might cause another tsunami, etc etc but still there are lot of reasons to live for !

For a change, spend few minutes to enjoy the sunrise, visit a old age home, spend time with orphan kids, talk to your friends, give crank calls to your boss, feel the raindrops on your face, go for a long drive, go to a nearby park and watch the kids play, make new friends they are just a "Hi" away, listen to birds (well these days birds means only crows !).....infact do anything but just don't kill yourself !

Viveka (Super Model) we are sure your life was more worthy than media using your death (suicide) to increase their TRP's ..may your soul rest in peace

burger with sambar ?

last saturday a veggie burger from McDonalds walked into our house, courtesy some birthday party in our complex. Before it could reach the intestine, the McD Veggie Burger entered the kitchen, which is controlled by a Marwari IT professional lady. Though the lady has stayed in US, Canada, London, Europe etc etc for majority of her professional career, her stomach and taste buds are still very much Indian (what patriotism !), to be more specific we can call her patriotic marwari. Coming back to the burger, even in their wildest dream the sesame bun, patty, american cheese slices, mayonnaise, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, onions, dill pickles (pickled cucumber),the mustard sauce and ketchup would not have got any clue on what is coming.

Sesame bun was opened up, iceberg lettuce and american cheese found their way to the trash can; mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard sauce carefully scrapped off the bun but the patty, tomatoes, onions and dill pickles were left as is. Then comes out the coriander chutney (sauce) from the refrigerator, which was nicely spread on the sesame bun and further stuffed with spicy bikaneri bhujia along with the other untouched McD ingredients....finally the burger found its destination, a marwari stomach

thankfully i wasn't at home to see this but i did feel sorry for the McDonalds Kitchen when i heard about it, McD should actually do a survey on what is happening with their burgers in Indian kitchens. Also you never know, the coming saturday my mom might use coconut chutney spread and serve the burger with sambar!

Well that reminds me that Taco Bell has started its operation in India and the first outlet is in Bangalore. Beware Taco, my wife is planning a visit ;-)

forgot to KISS

morning morning don't rotate my head (subhe subhe dimaag math ghooma) ! well that was how my meeting was this morning. Meeting started in the right spirit, its amazing that few things like well defined agenda, right participants and a clear purpose when tied together makes a meeting so very effective and that was how it was but then every movie has a villain, so it was a matter of time before the nice meeting was a victim of some evil eye and in no time the meeting was hijacked by the villains and when they refused to compromise for any kind of ransom, the meeting was adjourned and re-scheduled. During the meeting there were some really long discussions on trivial issues, i was also an active part of those long discussions. After we finished the meeting I realized that just like many others, i have forgotten to KISS, i mean to Keep It Short and Simple. Long arguments often lose the purpose and we end up discussing things which are supposed to be "out of scope" in a given context, so though we all know the importance we seldom learn to KISS at the right time

Well today I forgot to KISS but i am glad that GOD did it the right way when he was forming my wife..i am glad GOD made her short (in height), sweet and simple, exactly the way I like. thanks almighty, you did not forget to KISSS (KISS with an extra "S" for sweet). Phew !! who says guys cant be cheesy ;-)

security for security..

we have enough to worry about ! Natural calamities, poverty and medical problems are already claiming millions of life but we still have to worry about al-qaida, naxals, maoists, terrorists and other anti-social elements. Well as per the offer letter from GOD i was supposed to have lots of fun, i try but the events around are always disturbing. Should i be concerned about saving 500 USD for my iPAD or should my heart and savings go to at least one of the 76 security men's family who lost their lives in Dantewada. It is heart breaking to see that the security men were killed in no time but the decision to kill the people who killed them is being delayed forever. The demands of the Maoists may be right but still it does not give them the licence to kill

I feel like ending my contract with earth and taking up the offer from some neighboring planet. If anyone do spot a UFO then direct it to Bangalore, i need a carrier too..

what is the mystery ?

today i read in entertainment section that Priyanka chopra is in Kashmir shooting for a movie named SAAT KHOON MAAF (forgiven for Seven Murders). Though I did wonder on why should they shoot in a place where anti-social elements could possibly shoot them dead but my attention was soon drawn to the number Seven? Why Seven Murders ? Why not Six or Eight ?

In fact the significance of number Seven is quite a bit ..Seven Wonders of the World, Seven Rounds of the Sacred Fire (as part of hindu marriage), Seven Vows of Marriage (again as part of hindu marriage), Seven colors of the rainbow, Seven continents in the world and seven days in a week. Then there are books named Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Seven Laws of Spiritual Success and movies like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, Seven (Saath) Hindustani and now a MTV reality show - Seven deadly Sins and one wild safari !

But why Seven ? what is the mystery ?

Angry Taurean Ahead, take diversion..

I almost had a TAXI NO. 9211 kind of experience today. TAXI NO. 9211 is a bollywood movie, which released some 3 to 4 years back. In this movie the hero is on the way to a bank to get his late father's will from the locker, which once produced in the court will allow him to inherit property worth billions of dollars. Unfortunately on his way, he rubs a taxi driver (of taxi no 9211) the wrong way for which he has to pay a huge penalty, almost losing all his wealth to his father's associate. The Movie is interesting and the end is also nice.

Anyway coming back to my "TAXI NO. 9211 kind of experience" today. Me and my wife car pool to office, i drive 7 km and get down, she drives further 3 km to her office and meanwhile i walk about 0.5 km to my office. Today we were late as usual but the only difference being there was a meeting which my wife did not want to miss. I was going at a good speed, dodging the vehicles coming the wrong way, overtaking at every possible opportunity but yet driving quite safely and then comes an auto rickshaw guy from no-where taking a U-turn (at a no U-turn signal) onto my lane, I almost rammed into him but some quick action saved me, my car, the auto, the auto driver and its passengers. I bombarded him with some not so nice abuses and was soon back to my driving since we were already late. But when we stopped at the next signal, the auto guy stopped next to my car and was ready to confront. I am usually very good at losing my temper for any silly reason but this time my wife controlled me and we ignored him but the auto guys dark-brown face hidden behind his beard and a large moustache hanging over a "pan" stained mouth was etched in my mind. In fact he resembled a octopus but with 4 limbs..quite a monster

As our daily routine goes, i got down, my wife shifted to drivers seat and I started my lazy march towards the office when the same Auto guy stopped right behind me and was probably ready to hit me. Within a fraction of a second i crossed the road and disappeared to another lane. The Auto guy obviously could not leave his Auto KA 05 S1934 and run after me, so i was saved. I think the auto guy was successful in scaring me off, I did wonder why don't I just hit him back if he does anything wrong. Anyway, I had to cross another road before I reached my office and before i crossed the road, an auto stopped right in front of me...shit this time i couldn't move, the auto driver's blood red eyes had enough anger to kill hundred's of people. I was about to say sorry when the Auto guy started saying sorry for speeding, oops it was a different Auto driver, in fact a lanky old man (lankier than the FTV models). I still don't know why I was scared and how could I see a different face in this Lanky old man....what a coward i am or was I just being careful as I know that the auto driver networks are very strong..

well in spite of the rare nice weather in bangalore, the experience keeps me in a bad mood today, i have put a sign board near my seat.."Angry Taurean Ahead, take diversion"

Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak ..

one of my school friends is getting married, he is all excited that he still has few more fun days left in life. well his marriage reminds of mine ...it was full of melodrama when we (me and she) announced the obvious to our family. I was very politely asked to leave the girl alone and stick to being a madrasi, but tough luck for marvari's, their girl did not want to be left alone

Anyways during the melodrama days, i bought a nice pair of Reebok shoes, i was prepared to elope :-). We visualized us running away, jumping onto some truck loaded with sheep and goats, singing some nice duet before we are stopped at some check point by Tamil tigers and/or marvari uncles but still managing to dodge them and disappear in some jungle where we could eventually get married in a small temple and live happily ever after !

but real life is less filmy, so no eloping, no Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak...

"one more" one off case

Another not a very interesting day at office. The new project has not really picked up momentum, the org wide initiatives lacks substance, in short lack of "quality" work has made my day boring. But then I don't control everything to not feel helpless, in fact this makes me wonder why are we so controlled by the external factors to remain happy, content, and motivated. May be I should drive down 30 kms to the south of bangalore, to Bidadi and hook up with Nithyanada's disciples. They claim to have found the real happiness and also help others to find the same. Well according to them or their breed of people, happiness is found within oneself and not by personal relationships or material things. If that is so then why do these guys travel in limos, private jets, have sex with cine stars in the name of offerings ? Their deeds make me wonder if i am living a more truthful and a happy life than these "happy" swamiji's. But then not all swamiji's are bad, may be Swami Nithyanada's sex scandal is just a one off case or rather "one more" one off case

anyway no worries..will dash to a near by Sports Bar, some beer + IPL and the day will end up to be interesting

bhai calling bhai ..

Nokia express music : Behethi Hawa sa tha woh ...(phone ring)
me : Hello
Nokia express music : Bhai bol raha hoon, Bhai hai kya ?
me: abe bhai, bhai se baath karna hai tho kudh ko phone laga
Nokia express music : abe chirkut, apna comedy bandh kar aur bhai ko phone de
me : Kaun bhai ? yahan koi Bhai nahin hai, wrong number and phone cut

2 minutes later ..

Nokia express music : Behethi Hawa sa tha woh ...(phone ring)
me : hello
Nokia express music : bhai ne bola yeh number 99XXXXXXXX pe call karne ka
me : number sahi hai per yahan koi bhai nahin hai
Nokia express music :Aisa kaisa boltha hai tum. Bhai ne yehich number diyela hai
me: abe bola na yahan koi Bhai nahin hai
Nokia express music : Bhai ne bola to sahi hi hai na. Aap check karo, Bhai udhareech hoyenge
me : phone cut

Man ...this is scary ..who is this bhai around me ? The new joinee in my office has taken his seat close to mine and he has a dark mole, 1 cm below his left eye..could that be a lead ?

Smart Eve !

Long Long ago Eve decided that she will not get into the jungles and do the comparatively tougher day to day activities. She decided to cook and take care of the kids, meanwhile Adam was instructed to brave the animals, cut trees, etc etc and ensure that the family has enough food to survive. Adam worked hard, made the world a better place to live and as time passed Adam got used to the fact that woman is a home maker (not an easy job for sure). Eve got bored with her important but mundane life at home, she decided to venture out and soon realized that work no longer means cutting trees for fire or hunting animals for food. Eve now wants a role reversal !! Happy Women's day :-)

in a recent movie (Wanted) Salman Khan says "Main Aurat aur Bachoon pe Haath nahin utatha" (meaning , I would never hit a lady or a child). I am surprised that no "Women's organization" came forward to ban this dialogue, as Salman Khan clearly discriminates the women here..they are supposed to have equal rights isnt it ;-)

now before my Eve bans me for my illogical lateral thinking, let me close this and Happy Women's day once again !

Golden stairs ..

i think during the golden days..sorry olden days when life expectancy was low due to poor health care or minimal access to quality medicines, there must have been a common feeling that any person who would live long enough to play with their 4th generation kid i.e. son's son's son or grandson's son would go to heaven and as per mythology, steps that lead to the heaven's gate are made of gold. This feeling is not just a feeling but a much celebrated function among the marvari's. I mean they literally make a "sone ki seedi" (golden stairs) and the new born kid's grand-grand-mother takes the golden stairs except that she remains on earth waiting for her turn to go up the heaven. By the way, does this world of heaven and hell really exist? I am told that at Indra's heaven (Indra is the king of gods, lord of heaven) beautiful Apsara's dance, wine is served unlimited, gambling happens etc etc. But if a person enjoy's the same on earth when he is alive then the person is sent to hell !

Before I commit any more sin by saying anything wrong about these "man made theories" on GOD lets get back to the "Golden Stairs" function. The Golden stairs function was held at my in-laws place (my brother-in-law and his beautiful wife were blessed with a baby boy). More than 100 friends and relatives attended the function. Maa (Grand-grand-mother) took the golden stairs with claps and good wishes all around. The function was more like a felicitation ceremony for a mother by her son, for nurturing him throughout the childhood and even into adulthood, for always keeping him above her own comfort and happiness, for teaching him the values to be a good human being, enabling him with the best possible education to make him a successful and respected individual in the society. To me the function is a nice way to make a old lady feel very very special because it is very rare that a 80+ old lady can be a reason for celebration with 100+ guests, I am sure "maa" felt very special on that day and kudos to her son for giving her this day

As part of the function, each one was given a return a gift, closer the relation or friendship higher the cost of the return gift. The "Golden Stairs" function was clubbed with the naming ceremony of the new born. I am not sure if there exists any country other than India where a new born does not have a name for about a month. Anyways, as part of the naming ceremony priest offered prayers to the lord for the new born's long life and then my wife (new born's Aunt) wrote the name on a betel leaf and very slowly cooed "Vedanth" in his right ear. Vedanth now has a name of his own, his birth certificate and passport can be made. Though the name was decided in advance, we were strictly advised not to address the new born as Vedanth till the function is over, its a tradition (reason I do not know)

Lunch followed the function, I checked the menu and I thought I should better wait for dinner :-). The function was not over yet, evening there were some more ceremonies, mini orchestra kind of setup was made. The lady singer sang quite a few traditional folk numbers, some of them started dancing and it was quite entertaining. There were also some individual dances and I am must say these dancers can surely join some dance based reality shows, very talented ! There was also a small skit making fun of family members which was also liked by the guests. Majority of the guests were ladies and most of them seemed to be straight out of some Hindi Daily Soaps. Everything about them was heavy, be it their makeup, their costume, their jewellery or they themselves.

Dinner followed and it was good, I had more than enough and burped ;-). After dinner, the guests leaving home were given return gift(s) for attending the function and showering the little one with love and wishes !

What next, may be "Platinum stairs" !!