Ramblings - Keebo's Diary -9

These days everyone’s sole aim is to get me potty trained. There was tremendous pressure on me to say final good bye to diapers on 19th Nov, it was apparently WORLD TOILET DAY and probably a very auspicious day to start such things…what crap no !! Fortunately, International Men’s day was also on the same day and given my gender I was given some respite.

Well, my parents got me used to diapers and now for some reason they want me to stop using them. Me and one of my juniors in play school had a quick chat about this and he mentioned that it could be more of an economic decision rather than any social norm. But things are getting serious now, yesterday, Amma gave me a very harsh punishment for some little mishap in my shorts. I thought that was the height of intolerance on Amma's part.  As a protest, I wanted to give back all my certificates to her but as I have mentioned in my earlier posts, the only certificate I have is my birth certificate and I don’t know if returning that will help me.  I think the only option left is to find a country where using diapers is mandatory and shift there. I am told the PK movie star is also having similar plans (leaving the country for intolerance), so it is either the case of we-great-minds-think-alike or we-both-are-immature ! I will know when I grow up

Concerned by my thoughts and actions, Anna gave me a pep talk sometime back and said I am complicating the matter. He suggested, it might be easier for me to get rid of diapers as they are not comfortable anyways.  Let’s see what I end up doing. 

BTW, I love the last quarter of the year. It is full of festivals, I had fun during Diwali. Appa tells me that tomorrow is god Karthikeya’s birthday and it is Tamils festival of lights. Appa added that as part of the standard operating procedures defined for this festival - we will do pooja, light diyas, eat Pori Urundai + do few other things. Though it seems to be an important festival, we don’t have holidays in school. I have realized only certain gods get national holidays in India, may be god Karthikeya does not have the superstar status of his brother Ganapati. In either case, will celebrate this festival as it is my grandfather’s favorite god.

Happy festivities ..

Bees Saal Baad

I haven’t met most of my school mates in flesh and blood since a long time (~ 20 years). I did have folks connected via Orkut and then Facebook but then never went beyond liking their vacation pics or wishing on b’days..no real conversations.  About 10 days back, one of the characters from our school, who I thought was an introvert formed a group on whatsapp and connected about 50% of our school mates and boy!! what a group it has turned out to be. In the last 10 days, we have exchanged more than 20K messages ! Thanks to the global presence of our batch mates, the group is active 24*7  and the constant chatter is all real (no forwards) and no bots like in Ashley Madison :-)
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Meeting up with old friends (even though digitally) has brought in an air of youth along with it. I am sure all in our batch would like to bask in the warmth of the lovely memories that has rushed to the forefront of our minds.  First thing that comes to my mind about my school is our beloved super strict principal Sir. Even the thought of him sends shiver down my spine, in fact his one stare used to cause accidents in many pants.  Our sir used to be always dressed in navy blue trouser and a sky blue shirt, back then I thought he was a miser. I now realize that sir was like many other successful people, who dress the same every single day to avoid wasting time deciding on clothes (remember Steve Jobs’ dress code?)

Many incidents cross my mind and one that is probably very unique to our batch is an incident during 4th Grade. A lanky boy (whose name I cannot reveal for security reasons :-) ) made us all believe that girls are untouchables and then one of the girls complained to our class teacher that “boys don’t touch us” (well the girls were also innocent). The complaint was taken seriously and the historic decision of changing the seating arrangement was taken. That year, we had boys and girls seated next to each other (till then it was boys on the right row of benches and girls on the left row or viceversa). Few years later, during our high school days we like minded boys dreamt of having the 4th grade seating arrangement repeated but some dreams never come true :-(
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Stories from school days belonging to different genres (tragic love stories, violent love stories, funny stories, action stories, etc) were all lying ignored in some closet of the brain but in the recent days it is my most used space. I am sure the activity on whatsapp will reduce over a period of time but honestly,  last few days has been beautiful and magical, the nostalgia reminds me of the way we were and the happiness we experienced while growing up.

Life is beautiful …

Raksha Bandhan - Keebo's Diary - 8

Wow tomorrow is Saturday and Appa will take me to the gaming arcade in the nearby mall. At first, I thought Appa is doing this weekend ritual to spend additional time with me but later I realized he is just trying to run away from household chores. Amma has started to play spoilsport by giving Appa the grocery list, so I am not sure how long this weekend thing will continue, anyways will cross the bridge when it comes

These days I see quite a few colorful wrist bands sold in the Mall, Amma tells me that they are not just wrist bands but sacred thread called rakhi and my sisters will tie rakhi on my wrist on the day of Raksha Bandhan. Amma also mentioned that in return for the rakhi, I should vow to protect my sisters for their life time + give them some gifts.

I am actually looking forward to the Raksha Bandhan festival,  I just love festivals, last month there was this eid festival and we celebrated eid at our school but not at home because we are not Muslims. I have not understood this religion thing very well yet but my understanding is only human beings have religion, other species like Tigers, Monkeys, Dogs, Crows, Snakes, Cats, fishes etc have not divided themselves by religion .. ever heard of Hindu Lion or Christian Monkey ??

Anyways, coming back to the Raksha Bandhan festival, I am worried about the gifts that I need to give to my sisters. I am not sure about my elder brother but I am totally broke, I don’t have any money to buy gifts. Moreover, I have no source of income and my parents don’t pay me for any of the work they ask me to do. In fact, I do complete justice to the job description of a 2 year old boy, I do things like - keeping the toys back in my toy rack, getting the T.V remote for my father when requested, turning on or off the fan/lights for my parents, eating tasteless roti sabzi each afternoon, taking bath every day, brushing my teeth not just once but twice a day, watching those boring videos on you-tube when my parents want to have a “chat”,  and many more difficult things but as I told you I am not paid anything for my efforts.  The only option now is to sell some of my toys on OLX and use that money to buy gifts…. let’s see how it goes

Wish me luck and have a great weekend ….

Keebo Vs Play School - Keebo's Diary - 7

Today morning we all left for school - Amma to b-school, Anna to Primary School and Me to Play school. Mine is obviously the toughest and I am assuming I don’t have to explain why. 

I was told it is a play school but the games that they play are not so interesting. We kids sit on a chair and then the teacher reads some rhyme which we keep repeating like a Talking Tom, same stuff happens for A, B, C, D,…or stories….it is very boring. I did check with my friends in our society and they have the same issue with their play school, in fact my sixth sense says it is a global issue and not just a local problem. 

I am working with my friends to come up with a Play School wish list, I guess it is time all play schools have X-Box or at least Wii Nintendo installed, Mobile or Tabs loaded with latest games should be provided to all kids, the play school premise should be more like a gaming arcade (something like Amoeba).  BTW, I am ok with learning rhymes but you can’t teach us “Jack and Jill went up the hill” inside a matchbox sized room, you should take us to the hill and give us some practical experience. Learning about Animals should be in a Jungle or at least a Zoo. We hate coloring on a small piece of white paper, we need bigger canvas ..may be the walls will work. Anyways,  as I said I am working with my peers and will soon come up with a list.

Additionally, one of my friends suggested - once we publish our list we should go on a “No Milk” strike till they fulfill our demands. I love milk so I didn’t like his idea, I have suggested roti and vegetable strike instead or the best would be just cry, it works, really trust me…even elders do that !!

One good thing about the school, they helped me make a nice Appa’s day card. This Appa’s day I am planning to let him watch TV, I am sure he will be thrilled with his gift. Happy weekend folks and do help me in my fight against play school

OK En Kanmani Madiyil

Had lunch with one periyavar yesterday here in the US.  He fits the tamilian’s definition of Major Sundar to the tee and boy !! looks like he got a shock of his life after watching OK Kanmani.  For those who don’t know “OK Kanmani” is the latest Tamil movie about how Generation Next view relationships (living relationship and all those you know..). Great movie by Mani Ratnam, Bollywood had started making such movies probably a decade ago nevertheless it is a refreshing Tamil movie and I love the song “OK En Kanmani Madiyil”

Now our Major Sundar is not concerned that some bandha showing guy will put kadalai and his paavam young daughter might be conned into such relations. His daughter is already married but he is just concerned that Mani Ratnam is spoiling tamilians by making such movies, he had the choicest of abuses for Mani Sir…Kasmalam is the only one that I can share here…ok “Kenai” is the other one that I can share.   As per periyavar most of the Tamil guys have always been bad, perennially they all are like “alwa” giving Sathyaraj but according to him tamil woman's jewel is her chastity.  Major Sundar thought the whole scene where the guy and girl end up in the same hotel room due to circumstances and then they deciding to do the kasa musa is nothing short of abacharam. He was like such guys and girls should be punished and in fact he was happy that in the movie, the girl’s mom does send the boy to maamiyaar veedu but then our hero in the movie is lord labakdas and continues his relation with the girl which further enraged our Major Sundar.

I did interrupt periyavar and told him that this is just a movie, so he should leave it at that and also movies are reflection of the society..so this is happening whether he likes it or not. He took strong objection to my views and from Major Sundar he soon became Karuthu Kandaswamy and went on to explain how this movie will spoil the young tamils. Due to my not so great tamil ..I didn’t understand most of his Karuthu but I kind of enjoyed my lunch with this person. He firmly believes that it is not OK to be in  Kanmani Madiyil and it is OK to be only in Manayvi Madiyil…..

 p.s – I know this post has too many tamil words, if you didn't understand then time to learn some tamil slangs I guess ;-)

Head(ache?)lines Today ..

India is celebrating Holi today…. Damn but Bangalore is not celebrating, we bangaloreans will be celebrating Holi over the weekend. In fact, we bangaloreans celebrate festivals only on weekends…we expect the gods to always wait for the weekend to get our attention !

Beef banned in Maharashtra… Holy cow ! Came across this beautiful quote – “A cow’s heaven is a flower’s idea of hell”. 

UK scientists have designed Urine-powered toilets to generate electricity…. Guys, can we get this technology in India please ? Most of us pee on the lamp post anyways, at least it will power the non-operational street lights

Scientist claim women can make Babies without men…. Naahin how can they do that !!!. Some experts in Australia have found a way to fertilize a woman’s egg with cells from any part of human body (like a bone marrow). My dear male friends, lets go back to Mars…women don’t need us for anything now 

Government Announces tax incentives in Budget to encourage companies to participate in Swachh Bharat Abhiyan…..Some of my friends wanted to ask the finance minister if they can attach the “Roy” movie tickets along with other tax saving documents and claim tax benefits for the money spent as “charity for Arjun Rampal” ? Jokes apart, my wife says - before Swachh (clean) Bharat we need to have a Surakshith (safe) Bharat !