Keebo's Diary-2

I thought my name was Keebo but since the last few weeks Amma is calling me Rishi. I was happy with my new name but was still skeptical coz i am addressed by so many names - Lalla, Raghav, Kanha, Kannan, Thangam, etc etc. I was convinced only after seeing my birth certificate which reads "Rishi". Yesterday, Amma told me that i am a quiet baby and that is one of the reasons why they named me Rishi. When Amma told me this, I just smiled back but didn't tell her that "i am the lull before the storm" and in my mind i wished them good luck :-)

Life hasn't changed much, I still do my crying practice at 2 am and 4 am. We continue to have visitors during day time and quite a few of these visitors tell me that i look like my father and honestly..I feel like going back into the womb for a redesign  ! do these visitors mean that i also have the same funny nose ?? Appa's nose is so big that it enters the room 2 minutes before his face !  And also Appa has taken his nose too seriously, he is nosy as well or else why would he embarrass me everyday by asking Amma - if i did potty ? come on Appa, should i ask your mother the same question ? Last week i had deposited some fresh urine on his face as a protest ...but some people just don't change

My brother (bhai) understands my problem because he also goes through the same torture but my smart bhai gets back whenever he gets a chance ...some of his gems
how do you write zero in Roman letter?
why can only boy and girl marry ? why not boy and boy or girl and girl ?
why are girls so different from boys ?
and many more

to most of bhai's query Appa replies - "will let you know later" but last week -

Bhai : why don't we celebrate Ramzan ?
Appa : because we are Hindu
Bhai : so what ?
Appa just hugged my Bhai and whispered "God bless you.."

I didn't understand the reaction nor did my bhai but it was not a surprise, i don't understand most of the stuff Appa does anyway ! The other day he was singing Lungi Dance to put me to sleep...

Keebo's Diary

I am 2 weeks old today and i celebrated by sleeping the whole day. I love the noise during the day, they are very very soothing and make me drowsy. Lot of creatures come to my home during the day, they talk to me in crazy language - like ....kuchiii kuchiii kuchiii, ding ding ding ding ding etc. I tried to tell them that i am not an alien and i understand normal words but they don't seem to understand. There is one person who is always around and is the best of all, she calls herself Mummy. When she is around i feel relaxed, I love the way she holds me, sings for me, kisses me, hugs me and feeds me. There is one more person who used to be around a lot for the first few days but these days is seen only after its dark, he calls himself Appa and tries to copy mummy but is very bad at it. I try many tricks to get rid of him - like yawming, sticking out my tongue, scratch him but nothing works..finally I take a deep breath, open my mouth and let the sound out....poor Appa gets scared and immediately hands me over to mummy, i will do it again when he comes home today..he looks really funny when he is scared :-)

I hate nights, everything is so quiet and for entertainment i try calling my brother but suddenly everyone comes around and ask mummy to feed me. Come on guys i don't scream only for milk,  i was just calling my brother, after all he is the one who gave me my pet name "Keebo" (it sounds so good no ?). My brother is my hero, he knows so many things...the other day he sang so many rhymes for me, read out some funny stories, and today bhai told me that he has cleared Spell Bee national level and has reached the International level ...don't know what it means but Mummy was very happy but i hate it when he abruptly says bye and goes to school or to play with his friends. I also want to go out with bhai and play ..but this Mummy girl does not take me anywhere. Yesterday, I overheard that we (the family) will be flying to Mumbai...i am excited that i am finally going out but i am scared a lot... nobody taught me how to fly ! Mummy please take care of me

Bye for now, i am hungry ...mummmyyyyyyyyyy .....

Control bhai Control ...

As per recent research, Tigers no more have "variety" of mating partners that they had enjoyed for thousands of years and this is the reason for extinction of certain breeds and the report claims that it is also killing diversity !!...Now, how do these tigers control their hormones ? Do they go around assaulting cats, dogs or other animals whenever they don't find a mate ? I don't think they do so (not sure) which means they probably have better control on their libido.

Now, another "Tiger" looked for variety in "woods" and we all know what happened to him. A well educated IIT/IIM pass out, who was till very recently CEO of an IT company has been sacked after his colleague filed a case of sexual harassment against him.  There are reports that claim that women were used to lure Sreesanth into spot fixing, his hormones and greed for money took control over his supposedly good soul.

Some study at pentagon has estimated that approx 26,000 people in the US Armed Forces have been sexually assaulted last year alone, so it is not just Delhi (also called the rape capital), looks like it is bad all over and based on recent revelations, even the Vatican city is not an exception !

Education does teach social/moral responsibilities and so does family but still the hormones don't seem to remain under control, they keep misbehaving. May be law is the only solution but is there any other option that needs to be thought about ? Any other ways to keep it under control ??? what do other species do ?

doubt - was Betaal a man or a woman ?

Remember Betaal from the Vikram and Betaal (V&B) series that used to be played on DD National ? Though in this series Betaal (the ghost) appeared like a man, i sincerely doubt !

Most of the bollywood horror movies (like Veerana) have unhappy witches roaming around at night with the sole intention of wooing innocent men. Bhola bhala boys get fooled and eventually get killed by these chudails on the very same night but the irony is these guys who get killed, never turn into ghosts. Now Betaal was a ghost and given the bollywood fact Betaal was probably a woman

Vikram's task was to carry Betaal from one end to another in silence. No woman can stand silence, they have to talk, it does not matter whether a man wants to listen or not. In V&B series, Betaal keeps talking (or rather tells stories) even though Vikram remains silent. Another reason to justify my doubt

When a woman shares her problem, man feels obliged to solve that problem and gives a solution. Based on lot of videos (about understanding women) that i have seen, i now realize that all we (men) have to do is shut up and listen. I tried following that as well and decided to be a good listener but that also failed because according to my wife, my newly acquired silence actually meant i didn't care anymore (catch 22 !!!). In the V&B series, Betaal's behavior was quite similar to that of a woman, Betaal would tell a story with a riddle and if Vikram does not solve the riddle then Betaal would cut his head and if Vikram broke his silence to answer the question then Betaal would fly back to the starting point (and Vikram would need to restart his task). Only a woman can come up with such innovative torture techniques :-). Yet another reason for my doubt as you can see that Betaal's behavioral traits were more girlish or rather womanish

But in spite of all my doubts i still think Betaal was a man. As per mythology, Betaal or Vetala is the head of all spirits and vampires and all kinds of pisachas. Now, can a woman be in such a top position? I guess even after death it would be difficult, such is the male dominance in this society. Yes, there are exceptions and few women have made it big but majority of the women continue to be a man's slave. Hopefully the society at large would start treating women equally and lets be aware that whenever they have got an opportunity, they surprise you by managing the career, home, spouse, kids, extended family, etc etc.....pretty well. how many men can do that ?

Happy Women's day to all the ladies out there !!

overheard !

Every year around this time there is some josh to lose weight (blame it on new year resolutions) but the weighing scale seldom shows favorable results. As part of my josh i have also started visiting (still not a regular) the gym in our complex. All kind of namunas you can see in the gym, the one category that makes you most jealous are the guys with flat abs, perfect butts and muscled limbs. These guys are gym regulars and they actually de-motivate you the most. The amount of effort they put in is 100 times of what visitors like me do. Anyway, I realized there are lot of visitors like me, one day -

Out of the 4 treadmills in our complex - one was not operational, I occupied one and 2 women in their 40s hijacked the remaining two

I was busy with whatever walking/running i was doing but i was all ears ..

Lady 1 (was walking at a speed of may be 3-4 km per hr) : Yaar, at 18 i was so fit, i used to run up the stairs without pausing for breath. Ab dekho... I am not even able to walk
Lady 2: seriously !! it has been so long since i ate to my heart's content and then stuffing some more not worrying about these calories. Yesterday I had made pani puris and i had to stop at 20 puris
Lady 1: What !!!! you made Pani puri yesterday ? why didn't you call me ?
Lady 2: Aree Pani is still left, lets go after the gym and have some
Lady 1 : Great idea.

That is when the power went off. I am sure the ladies were happy that they can now go home but their bad luck was very bad, the backup power was on in less than 10 seconds

Lady 1: f**k !!! what was the reading before power went off? was it 1.3 km or 1.5 km ? as per chart we have to walk 2 km each day. So should we walk 0.7 km or 0.5 km now ?
Lady 2: ohh shit yaar, i also did not notice? Lets calculate. What time did we come ?
Lady 1: I think 10:00 am and i think the power went off at 10:17 am, so in 17 minutes at the rate of 4.2 km per hr how much did we cover?
Lady 2: please take out the mobile and do speed * time
Lady 1: 4.2 * 17 gives 71.4 ?? we are doing something wrong ?
Lady 2: Yes something is wrong, call your husband and check
Me (i wanted to tell them it is ok if you walk 200 odd metres more) : divide by sixty and you should be good
Lady 1 and Lady 2: Ohh thanks they replied in chorus. Lady1 did something with her mobile and was shocked with the result (1.19)
Lady 1: are your sure we came at 10 am and not before? i remember i crossed 1.4 km ? what should we do

My session was over and had to rush for my meeting or else i would have definitely stuck around to see what these guys eventually did.

Note - this is a true incident. i narrated this to my wife and she thinks i have cooked up this story...but my lord .....yeh sach hai  !!!